Stand My Watch

I’ve thought about a verse in 2 Corinthians 2:15-17 for a long while and how it applies to all I see and all I hear spoken. Especially currently, as so many who proclaim to speak for the Lord voice their opinion rather than God’s word on one who seeks to again serve as President. The Amplified Bible says of these verses, “For we are the sweet fragrance of Christ (which exhales) unto God, (discernible alike) among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing: To the latter it is an aroma (wafted) from death to death (a fatal odor, the smell of doom); to the former it is the aroma from life to life (a vital fragrance, living and fresh). And who is qualified (fit and sufficient) for these things? (Who is able for such a ministry? We?) For we are not, like so many, (like hucksters making a trade of pedaling God’s word (shortchanging and adulterating the divine message); but like men of sincerity and the purest motive, as (commissioned and sent) by God, we speak His message in Christ (The Messiah) in the very sight and presence of God.” Pure motives? Sincere? Speaking one’s own motive rather than God’s? That should cause great fear into those truly sent by Him for there is always a place where we will stand before Him and all our words will be laid bare.

These verses basically state we, and what we speak, must be like that pleasing aroma to the Lord like that offered up to Him in Leviticus 1. A sweet aroma. This fragrance should be the essence of the overflow of our intimacy with the Lord. Expressing our knowledge of Him. How is that possible when words spoken cause division and hatred? When lies, cheating, defaming, and basically saying through our tacit approval that one’s actions that are diametrically opposed to His teachings are OK with us. These words we speak or embrace have consequences. We can speak life and do our best to be a living example of what He requires through our love, obedience, sacrifice and thanks or we can embrace the polar opposite of His teaching. One diffuses the fragrance of Him and His knowledge everywhere and is seen in how we conduct ourselves and what we speak while the other brings that fragrance of death. And often it comes in sneakily, concealed in increments, and the rot it is causing is not seen until it may be too late. Agree with just a few things that are not in what He teaches and then the door is open for more. And then death is the fragrance you emit. Not life.

I’ve watched so many that have a platform where they speak for the Lord. They’ve spoken of these very verses in 2 Corinthians. They speak of being an offering to Him through our service and our giving. This has been done throughout time. Say you wish your walk and deeds to be a pleasing offering to the Lord but live contrary to that premise. The prophet spoke to that in Isaiah 1. He said God was tired of their offerings. He said put away your evil doings. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Rebuke the oppressor. Defend the fatherless. Plead for the widow. Isaiah later tells the people that their princes are rebellious and companions of thieves. That everyone loves bribes and follows after their own rewards. He says the Lord will turn His hand against them and says these people that walk in this injustice and those who align with them will be dealt with together.

I’m reminded of the song by Lynyrd Skynyrd, “That Smell”. It says the smell of death surrounds you. When you align with that marriage of church, service to Him, and the politics of Trump, you make it an act of your will to embrace that odor of putrefaction. Of death leading to death. It’s like people standing to get a view of a large Titan Arum flower. Also called a corpse flower. Yes, interesting to see, but it smells like rotting flesh, an odor it uses to attract its pollinators to the flower that love to feed and breed on flesh. No different than what we see right now from those embracing an evil man in DT who works to destroy the very underpinnings of our democracy and the very fabric of what we say we embrace in our walk with the Lord. David tells us in Psalm 37 to not fret because of evil doers because they will be cut off. The wicked believe they can plot and do evil without repercussion, but the Lord laughs at them for He knows their day is coming. We are to commit ourselves to Him and He shall bring forth our justice. In all this, I say what Paul said in Romans 1, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Be that “pleasing aroma” before Him and to all He puts in our path. Blessings.

There are times I read through the Bible and I look at areas I’ve highlighted or underlined in past readings. Just recently, the verse Genesis 45:24 stood out to me like a Rhema word. Joseph was providing his brothers with supplies and donkeys and carts to carry them to his father Jacob in Canaan and bring them back to Egypt where they would survive the famine that was in the land. These were the same brothers who approximately 20 years earlier sold him into slavery. As they were departing, Joseph spoke to them in Genesis 45:24, “See that you do not become troubled along the way.” In the midst of promised blessings for his family and reunion with his father, Joseph sees the potential for trouble. Some translations say do not quarrel along the way. In the midst of what would be life-saving provision and promised blessings from the Lord, Joseph prophetically sees the propensity for strife leading to division.

Joseph’s brothers had hated the dreams he shared with them which always seemed to place Joseph in authority over them and they wanted him dead. They sold him into slavery and covered up their crime by telling their father, Jacob, that a wild animal had killed Joseph. And now here was the one they betrayed showing God’s love and provision to them. And now Jacob would know the truth to what really happened. Proverbs 17:14 says, “The beginning of strife is like releasing water, therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.” It’s like breaching a dam and rushing water can swoop up everything in its path. So, Joseph warns them so that the good being done is not ruined. He knew this was God’s plan to save his family.

This contention, quarreling and jealousy is as old as the beginning of brothers. In Genesis 4 we see this with Cain and Abel. Cain was jealous of how his offering was received by the Lord compared to his brother Abel. The Lord warned Cain in Genesis 4:7, “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at your door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” Some translations say sin lies at your door like an animal waiting to attack. Sort of like the animal Joseph’s brothers said killed Joseph. And yet Cain still killed Abel.

We’re told in 1 Corinthians 3 that where there is envy, strife and divisions among us we behave like ordinary men. We’re supposed to show the love and character of Christ. Yet betrayal, unforgiveness, hatred and strife seem to be what we see wherever we turn. The apostle Paul tells us in Romans 4 that we should show brotherly love toward one another, not hatred. Give preference to one another. Honor one another. Bless and do not curse. Even with those who persecute you. Rejoice with one another. Weep with those who weep. Don’t set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Don’t be wise in your own opinion. Do not repay evil for evil. And if possible, and this depends on us, live peaceable with all men. Can we honestly say this is what we see on a regular basis?

We are in the midst of a conflict that has been going on for the past decade that has produced some terrible quarrels and division. Its roots go back a long way. Just like Cain and Abel in Genesis 4 and Joseph in Genesis 37. We may not face the famine in America that we read of in Genesis, but I feel that the warning here is that which was spoken of in Amos 8. A famine not of bread and water, but of hearing His true word. Of seeking it as we would water in a barren and arid land. We hear so many words that seem to contradict, yet purport to come from the same source. And we see people running to and fro seeking the word of the Lord. How is this possible when we have been given all that pertains to life and godliness? So, we continue to get caught up in quarrels and division. And through our words we throw many into captivity because we don’t like their opinion. And we seem to not have the wherewithal to call on the Holy Spirit who should be our guide. These quarrels and the dissension we see in the midst of us only bring further division and hate. So much seems to be political opinions, but it’s deeper than that. It’s what is in the heart of man.

We read in 2 Timothy that in this great house there are those who produce honor and good and those who produce dishonor and disputes. It is incumbent on us to know the difference and follow the path of truth. If you see one path that is strewn with lies, deceit and ungodly character that only leads to more dissension, turn from that path. When you hear one that revels in stirring up strife and feels he can benefit from the ensuing chaos, turn away from that person. See that you do not render evil for evil. Pursue that which is good. Pray without ceasing for we are on a fraught filled road that will reveal even more ill will in less than two months. See that you do not become troubled along the way. Blessings.

Friday, August 30, 2024 at 7 P.M. I was just sitting and reflecting. I had finished my Bible reading an hour earlier. I was preparing to turn on the T.V. when the Lord spoke to me and said, “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of you.” I knew the verse well but had to look up the address of the scripture. It’s Matthew 18:20. As I sat and listened, more explanation was given to me as to His insight for sharing this specific scripture.

So often we see and hear those who profess Christ get into in depth discussions as if they have been sent to discuss these things by the Lord himself. We see it in our places of worship and in many facets of our travels. But where it’s most often seen and abused is on social media sites. Ministers of the Gospel, to those who’ve been following Jesus, to those who just want to share their opinion, all try to get their view known. Some to their own detriment or to the hurt of those they try to inject their opinion. So many experts on what the Word says, yet too often colored with one’s own strongly determined bent. Galatians 6:3 says, “If anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” There are way too many experts with opinions that seem to fade quickly when exposed to His light.

We seem to forget that yes, when we do come together and bandy about His name, even on social media, He truly is there in our midst, and I’m sure He’s not always pleased as to how we represent Him. Jesus quoted Isaiah in Mark 7:6-7 saying, “This people honors Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of Men.” He was speaking to hypocrites. Too often we can enter a discussion with wrong motives. We need to get our view heard. We feel we must respond to some post and get the writer, and those who share their views, to hear what you feel can be the only correct answer or opinion. I find myself responding less and less to what I see even among those I once always read and found to have good points to make. We neglect the warnings of Christ who warned us in Matthew 7 and proceed without caution. Seemingly unaware that out of our hearts proceed evil thoughts, deceit, wickedness, blasphemy and prideful ways all contrary to Him. Our stubborn refusal to believe that just because we were taught certain things in our upbringing or in our church life, doesn’t not mean that there is not error in our processing. It can often boil down to the most simplistic explanation. “A good man out of the treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45) We must discern what is correct in our hearing Him.

We often do not realize that we must give an account of what we say. And by our words we will be justified or condemned. (Matthew 12:37) I can honestly say that over the years I’ve seen people believe something, and years later hold a different view. In politics, it’s called flip-flopping. In the Word of God, we often find it was based on what another person said or taught. We must delve into His word that we may be enlightened and strengthened. Psalm 19 says His word makes wise the simple. If we truly look at the content of many discussions on social media, we may come to realize that yes, the Lord’s name was mentioned and scripture was cited, but then things went astray. And too late we may become aware that yes, He was in our midst, but as things turned, He left. And yet we still go on with mindless and often incorrect banter, fully believing we are representing Him with the expressing of our views and interpretations. Thankfully, the Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy.

We need to remember and be aware that He is in our midst and our words and deeds are used as a representation of who He is. And that we are often wrong in how we represent Him. We say that we believe in Him and our actions show whether or not that is true. Jesus said in John 7:38, “He who believes in Me, as the scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” Blessings.

We so often look to set our own path regardless of the Lord’s promises for us. We start out with great faith and trust but then look to our own way and in essence we bring forth our own Ishmael. In Genesis 12, we see God promise Abram that He would make of him a great nation even though Abram was old and had no children, as his wife Sarai was barren. God tells him to leave where he was and travel to a land He would show him. Abram obeys and seemingly believes. But when Abram enters Egypt on his way to the land God had for him, he becomes fearful of the Egyptians and concocts a plan for Sarai to be his sister so they won’t kill him and take Sarai. God rescues Abram by bringing plagues on Egypt and Pharaoh rebukes Abram for his deceit and lets them depart with all his possessions.

God again promises children to Abram in Genesis 15. He appears to Abram in a vision and tells him that He is Abram’s shield and great reward. God tells Abram of the land he will inherit. But Abram and Sarai come up with their own plan to bring forth God’s promise. So, in Genesis chapter 16, Sarai has Abram lie with her maid, Hagar, and a child is brought forth. Ishmael. Sarai comes to regret this decision and deals harshly with Hagar who then runs away but is consoled by the Angel of the Lord. The Angel tells Hagar she shall have a son and to name him Ishmael. “He shall be a wild man; His hand shall be against every man, and every man’s hand against him. And he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.” (Genesis 16:12)

The Lord still was merciful in His blessing of Abram and Sarai and appeared to them again (Genesis 18) and reiterated His promise of a child for them. Yet in Genesis 20, Abram again lies to Abimelech, the king of Gerar, saying Sarai is his sister, as Abram feared for their safety. God again intervenes, and in a dream, warns Abimelech of impending death if he doesn’t restore Sarai to Abram. This all leads to a great test in Genesis 22. I posit this for consideration. These are solely my thoughts, but others have had similar. What if Abram had fully trusted that God’s promise was true and nothing could stop it? From the times he lied to protect himself and Sarai, from what he saw as impending doom, to believing that he and Sarai could come up with a plan to fulfill God’s promise of a great nation through their servant Hagar and see God’s promise via Ishmael? Do you think that God would’ve called Abraham to sacrifice Isaac if he had believed all God’s promises to him? And therein lies the problem we still face every day. “All the promises of God in Christ Jesus are yes and amen to the glory of God through us.” (2 Corinthians 1:20) Yet how often do we feel we have a better way? A plan that will work just as good as His?

Old Testament scriptures point to the coming of our Messiah and how He would be received and what would be necessary for Him to go through for us to be redeemed. But when He came, they had a better idea. They wanted a Messiah who would take power with the Pharisees and rule right then. This is a shadow of what we see today with the church feeling it must be in charge of all things from government, to arts and education, to the media, religion, family and business. And that display of power by those in the know will accelerate the second coming of Jesus. And they’ll reign and rule with Him. This 7 Mountain theology has only caused division and strife. It doesn’t look like God’s promise any more than those that banded together to form our country. Noble ideas, but many often used a God of their own making. It was made by select men and did not represent all men. Especially those not of wealth, or women, or those of color. And this system was abused until a great war of division resulted in our own Ishmael. The cinders of that fire still burn bright today and many are blowing on them to reignite them. It’s working. We get into wars like Vietnam and Iraq believing we know what’s best, when in essence these were not God’s plans for us. We always find out after, but then the damage has been done. We look to leaders that offer promises or appeal to the worst in many via prejudices and hate. Those that have nothing in their own life that speak of an actual relationship with the Lord, and yet somehow, we feel we can have them bring forth a vision that looks like Isaac, the seed of promise, and not Ismael. Just look at the Middle East today and it seems like that which produced Ishmael has been proven in Proverbs 16:25 saying, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but it’s end is the way of death.”

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:13, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go by it.” Right now, I feel we’ve just knocked over the gate and trampled on the path He’s called us to walk on. In my life I’ve created my own Ishmaels. They’ve only produced hardship and regret. Hard lessons. I still pray His grace to keep me on the right path. “We truly see through a glass, darkly.” We believe we see the promise or the way, but that which triggers passions, emotions, fears, prejudices, hatred, and decisions based on past experiences bring us to birth Ishmael in our lives. We must do as we see in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” Be that one who knows that we plan our ways, but only He can truly direct our steps. Be that one who follows the promise. Blessings.

The book of Numbers tells us of a seer named Balaam. In chapter 22, Balak, the king of Moab, looks to hire Balaam to curse Israel for him as he was afraid of the power of Israel. He sends messengers to hire Balaam as Balak is aware of Balaam’s power to bless or curse. But God speaks to Balaam and tells him he cannot curse Israel for they are blessed. So, Balaam tells the men Balak has sent to return to their land for God will not allow him to curse Israel. Balak undeterred, sends a greater retinue of men with promises of great honor for Balaam. He played to Balaam’s vanity.  Balaam still refuses to curse Israel, but he then adds of his own volition that he would not curse Israel no matter how much silver or gold was offered to him. But as yet, the amount of riches was not discussed, so why did Balaam broach the subject of riches? And therein lies the problem with many prophets today that seek after riches to be compensated for the words that they give. And though Balaam had protested he would not curse Israel, he still went with the messengers of Balak the next day. An angel of the Lord stood in Balaam’s way to meet Balak and were it not for his donkey recognizing the angel and speaking to Balaam in his own tongue, Balaam would have been struck dead by the angel. It’s sad yet funny how following a destructive path can cause us to miss signs so glaring as a talking donkey. But the lust of money and fame can do just that. Balaam temporarily heeded the angel’s warning, but Balak again pressured him to curse Israel and took Balaam to the high places of Baal where offerings were made to the false god Baal.

Balaam, even from the high places of idol worship and sacrifice, could not help but hear God. In fact, he eventually speaks one of the more important and prescient prophecies over Israel regarding the coming Messiah. The Lord gave Balaam an open-eyed vision of His love and plan for Israel. Balaam knew the voice of the Lord, yet foolishly lusted after fame and riches only realized by disobedience to the Lord. Proverbs 14:33 says, “Wisdom rests in the heart of him who has understanding; But what is in the heart of fools is made known.” Balaam’s heart was not fully dedicated to the Lord. His name means one who makes a profession of religion for the sake of gain. Even with his knowledge of and encounters with the Lord, Balaam still lusted after that which was contrary to God. And we see in Numbers 31 that he once again aligned with lust and greed and was killed when Israel defeated the Midianites.

Jude 11 and 2 Peter 2 speak to the errors of Balaam and those that follow in his footsteps, like so many “prophets and apostles” today who follow the path of Balaam in their love of the wages of unrighteousness. They follow a doctrine of empty promises and promises based on their own lusts and leanings. They are wells without water, clouds carried by a tempest. They speak great swelling words of emptiness and they allure through lusts of the flesh. They promise liberty while they themselves are slaves of corruption. The psalmist Asaph wrote of this in Psalm 50:16 saying, “But to the wicked God says; What right have you to declare my statutes or to take My covenant on your lips.” Yet these words do not deter any more than they did with Balaam when misdirection due to one’s own self- seeking only reveals the darker motives. And today, prophets can totally get it wrong, but rather than say it was because of wrong motives, they make excuses.  I recently listened to R.T. Kendall speak to this saying how prophets are giving their take on what will happen with Trump and how so many got it wrong with the last election. But he added they used the excuse of a stolen election as the reason that they erred.  His question then was why didn’t God tell you that was going to happen when you called the election for Trump initially? This is still going on. Those who call themselves prophets call people to follow one who diametrically opposes all Christ taught. To follow those who will make quick waste of our constitution. To basically say it’s acceptable to lie, steal, cheat, denigrate, falsely accuse, slyly or overtly embrace racism, anti-semitism, xenophobia, and nationalism. To invoke the name of the Lord while climbing to your high places of idol worship. We all sin and fall short of His glory, but this is something far more insidious. Much darker. We find warnings of this in Micah 3:11, “Her judges passing verdicts for a bribe, priests pattering oracles for pay, and prophets divining for money, and all the while relying on the Eternal, saying Surely the Eternal is among us: no evil can befall us.” (Moffat Translation) But as it says in 1 Thessalonians 5, they may say peace and safety when sudden destruction comes upon them. So, it is incumbent on all of us to not be aligned with these increasing false words from these self-serving “Balaams,” ascending to high places of self-adulation with no regard to who they cause to fall in their false ascents to their high places. Come out from among them and be separate. If there is self- seeking and that which does not truly line up with His word, reject it outright. Seek Him. Take His yoke upon you, not that of one seeking their own gain. He is gentle and humble in heart. Rest in Him. Blessings.

Jesus told us in John 8 that He is the light of the world and that if we follow Him, we will not walk in darkness but have the light of life. In Matthew 5, Jesus said that we are to be the light of the world and to let our good works so shine before men that they would see your good works and thusly glorify your Father in heaven. Lately what seems to emanate from too many is more like something that needs a new battery or that which even resembles a strobe light. You have to turn away from its annoying effects. Some follow those who allure you with garish carnival lights that may attract you, but their way leads to a destructive path. This seems to lead to a path of seduction causing many to careen into the ditch of waywardness of politics and religion. We forget His warnings of what to follow and how we must present ourselves as His followers.

Jesus said in Luke 11:34 that “The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye (your conscience) is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is full of darkness.” But in verse 35 He gives a most prescient and foreboding warning saying, “Therefore take heed that the light that is in you is not darkness.” Somewhere we can follow that which may appear as light, but its roots are darkness and of evil intent. It can be mesmerizing and alluring. How have so many felt led to follow that which is the antithesis of all our Savior taught? Somehow many have come to believe that taking the earth for His Kingdom by whatever means necessary is acceptable. We CANNOT inherit His kingdom through unrighteousness. Eyesight becomes darkened by following false teachings and promises. Greed, self-serving, envy, hate, become entangled with false teaching that causes those not grounded in His light to be led astray. One becomes prey to the intellectually and spiritually dishonest. And the promise of some immediate gratification causes one to take their eyes off the prize which emanates from a foul and lie filled parallel dark world. Yet some close their spiritual eyes and hold their nose for the promise of that which allows light and darkness to co-exist simultaneously.

We are living in a time when just saying you’re a Christian can open doors for you. Forget judging one by their fruit. Lying and cheating have become acceptable by many if it will provide what one wants. The Sermon on the Mount just gets in the way of one’s desired goals. All you need to do is place a placard of the Ten Commandments everywhere and that should do the trick. Or make a spectacle of holding up the bible in a televised event. Lightning won’t strike you so that must mean you’re right with Him. We are supposed to examine ourselves to see whether or not we are in the faith, but what faith? Maybe a new one where selfishness, hating your fellow man, getting anything you can by whatever means possible, all have become acceptable. This is all a darkness that has caused a lack of self-scrutiny by not examining His word and the resulting spiritual ignorance which leads to rebellion, disobedience and unbelief. It seems to be acceptable to be yoked with those who have made up their own self-serving gospel. We must not allow ourselves to be yoked with unbelievers or those who preach a different gospel. Even an angel! Paul says in Galatians 1:8 to let them be accursed that preach such. Pray as David did in Psalm 18:28. Ask the Lord to light your lamp and enlighten your darkness.

Colossians 2:8 says, “Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.” This is incumbent on you to ensure this doesn’t happen. If you listen to one that expresses that which is contrary to Him, it’s upon you. I look at what I see in the hatred, vengeful, and lying spirit in one that has become acceptable to his maga-followers and realize that solid food is no longer in their spiritual diets. Discerning of this spirit not of God has been lost. To some without a fight. I so pray His mercy and truth blanket this land and that we have not walked out of His grace. Romans 13:12 says, “The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore, let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light.” The time is short. I pray His light fill you. Blessings.

 

 

A couple of decades ago I attended a conference where I thought I’d be helping in prayer and doing prophetic ministry. The first evening I noticed a young but already notable evangelist staring at me. There was something in his eyes that was a pleading, and yet something that seemed to be fearful of me. Every time I saw him during this three-day conference, it was the same thing. I was thoroughly confused as I was getting no answer as to why he was looking at me this way. That first night, this man was called up to receive prayer. I was one of those praying for him. I believe God had me positioned at his feet for blessings on where he would go and where he had been. Romans 10:15 says, “And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who brings glad tidings of good things.” This man was an evangelist in a Muslim nation and had gone through hell. Threats, guns held in his face for long periods of time and always the fear of impending doom. The presence of the Lord was so strong as we prayed for this man that I was immersed in a most intense heat and tears were coming down my face as if by their own volition. It was such a powerful experience. The next couple of days though were more of the same. Every time I saw this man, his eyes were exhibiting both pleading and what I saw as fear.

The last evening session of the second day I was seated during a sermon. Suddenly I started to feel quite uncomfortable. Hot and sick. But most troublesome was this impending doom over me. Like the most pronounced panic attack one could imagine. I had to get out! I was seated in a middle row of the hotel conference room but managed to climb over people and get in the hallway in a flash. I never stopped to see if I had upset anyone in my escape. I’ve had heart attacks before and I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing this again, but this time with extreme fear. In the hotel hallway, I paced wondering what was happening. But then I heard the Lord say to me, “Go back and get your bible.” In my rush to escape this room and doom, I’d left my bible. I said no I would not go back into that room. I felt extremely fearful and was not sure I was not about to die. He said again, “Go back and get your bible.” I managed to go back and retrieve my bible and get out in record time. Those in the room must have thought I was an idiot. I left a message at the front desk for a pastor friend to come to my room after the meeting.

The intensity of what I was going through did not let up. In fact, at times it became worse. I was reading scriptures for all I was worth. I even called my wife to maybe come get me. At this point I was trying to figure out if I was having another heart episode. It was nearing midnight. I finally called my wife but decided that the best heart hospital was nearer to my home, and her driving to get me and bring me back would take over 6 hours. I received prayer from my pastor friend and a couple people I called, but this feeling of panic and doom would still come in waves. I prayed and did what spiritual warfare I could all night. Sleep would not come. Finally, in the morning I showered and went to breakfast. I sat alone. The last teaching session was over by noon and then I saw the young evangelist again. He looked as fearful as I felt. His eyes were still looking at me the same way. And then it was over. He said good-by to me and a few others and left. He said he couldn’t join a few of us for lunch. Something was unfinished and yet I was at such a loss as to what that was. And then during lunch he came back in and approached our table. And that spirit of intense fear came rushing at and over me in a wave. And I said out loud, “It’s you! There is a spirit of dread that has come to disable and kill you. To make you ineffective in what God has called you to do.” He started to answer that it wasn’t, that he just couldn’t go back, as he was worn out and tired. I said, “Be quiet! This goes now.” There were 5 other ministers at the table. All more seasoned than me, but they deferred to me as if by the Spirit. I prayed for this spirit of dread to go and spoke what His call was for this man. How he would go back and the thousands he would introduce to Christ. I stated what we read in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” And we spoke from Psalm 23 and 27 and 91. This dread is such a great fear compounded in the face of impending doom, terror, fright and the promise of death. He was being set free and as it left him, I noticed a lightness over me. The Lord wants us at a place where we can fully understand Isaiah 8:13, “The Lord of Hosts, Him you shall hallow; Let Him be your fear, And let Him be your dread.”

Ephesians 6: 11-12 says, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand the wiles of the devil, For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” The Lord later spoke to me and another minister confirmed it: He said that He allowed me to encounter the prince over the spiritual principality over Pakistan. If I did not understand this encounter, then how could I minister to the one in need of healing from this? My first reaction was stupidly to say, “What gives you this right!” I realized how stupid it was as soon as the words left my mouth. Sort of like the soldier complaining that they’re using real bullets in basic training. This experience I shared won’t happen to everyone, but I share it to prepare you. We are in perilous times and they are getting darker. We must be ready in season and out, and we cannot be ignorant of Satan’s devices. It doesn’t matter whether you signed up for this or not. We must don the armor Paul shares with us in Ephesians 6. We must be watchful and always remain steadfast and in prayer. And as Peter warns us in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” But He who is everything is with you in times of trouble. He will set you high upon a rock. Stand and pray. Blessings.

A few decades ago, I was on trial for what could have proven to be disastrous for how my life would have turned out. We were still in the last vestiges of the Vietnam War and emotions were high against those who looked like they were anti-war. I was not one of them as I had lost a few friends in Vietnam, including my best friend. But I was from a military family and I could never protest against my friends fighting in Vietnam. I was at a college mixer and too many people were indulging in things that altered their behavior. One such person believed my friend Mark was trying to move in on his girlfriend and proceeded to hit Mark across the forehead with a beer bottle leaving a large cut. I was upset about this and my first instinct was to handle this myself. But I thought better of this and decided to report this to the cops on duty. The cops didn’t care and they didn’t seem to care that I was trying to do the right thing. My hair was quite long which exacerbated the situation. So, they started pushing me. I held my ground and tried to explain what had transpired. To no avail. Two cops jumped me and started hitting me. I had learned some boxing techniques from my dad who boxed in the Navy. I had my shoulders and arms up high. I was able to secure my left arm around the second cop so his punches were limited. But the first guy left plenty of lumps on my head. My friend Mark, holding a towel on his head for the bleeding, jumped in as the first cop pulled out a blackjack. Mark said just let us go home as we did nothing wrong. Meanwhile a large crowd had gathered and were yelling all sorts of things, and in the melee, one of the cops lost his gun. Glad I wasn’t shot. I think the crowd size made the cops let us go. I took Mark to the hospital for stitches.

The next day I made a complaint against the two cops. But I was arrested and put in a cell. I was charged with breach of peace, resisting arrest, and assaulting officers on two counts. I was able to post bail and then had to get an attorney for the upcoming trial. He was recommended to me as a good trial attorney but I had to sell all I had, including my car, to pay his fee. I was up before a judge that was known to dislike anyone who had long hair which he considered to be trouble makers. I was advised I should cut my hair as things could go easier for me. I refused. How does the length of my hair have anything to do with innocence? It was a jury trial. It took quite a bit of time to select the 12 jurors. I think the prosecutor knew that the cops involved had a penchant for being overzealous and nasty. I was told that I could plead guilty to breach of peace and they’d drop the other charges. I stated I was innocent of ALL charges and would not give in. The judge then said if I was found guilty, he’d throw the book at me and I could expect a minimum of 5 years. I was ready to go to Canada.

We had quite a few witnesses. One professor that testified for me was painted as a communist and anti-American. The prosecution only had the two cops. My attorney did a good job with them. I testified. They tried to paint me as an anti- war hippie. An activist. They spent a long time cross examining me and when they couldn’t rattle me or catch me contradicting myself, they told the jury that was because I was used to speaking and influencing people. I had never done that and hated public speaking. Thank God for my mom! She was an excellent witness on my behalf. And she introduced herself as Tresa Santilli Craddock. Emphasizing that middle name affected a couple women jurors who were also Italian. She could not be rattled. She had prayed and fully believed God was with her. The jury was out for a long time. Quite a few attorneys would drop by to sit in on this trial as it was getting notice. A Bailiff had told my attorney they could hear the women in the jury room raising their voices. After many hours they came in. I was definitely scared. I was found not guilty on all counts. The judge didn’t look happy. One of the women jurors smiled at my mom upon entering the courtroom. There were many tears that day.

I look back on that time and wonder why I had to go through that. And all it cost me financially. Was this preparation for things I’d do standing for Him later in life? I think of Psalm 31:20 where it says, “You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence, from the plots of man.” Yet I was not undamaged. I look to Isaiah 26:3 which states, “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in You.” But did I? I was definitely wavering. I couldn’t say as in Hebrews 13:6, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” I did fear what they could do to me. Yet I tried to do my best in trusting Him. The verse I find most appropriate for this is what Jesus said in Matthew 10:19, “But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.” My mom knew that better than I.

And now I look at the multiple political trials in the news. I look at people who looked to overthrow our election like Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis or Kenneth Cheseboro. They spoke many untruthful things but now have pleaded guilty. I see Donald Trump say he’d testify then not do that. If you’re innocent, then make a stand. And if you’re guilty, cop a plea. Paul was stoned for his truth. Peter was beaten. And he tells us in 1 Peter to gird up the loins of our mind. To be morally alert. You cannot do this if you’re living a lie. Trials will come to test us even when we are walking circumspectly. Truth and lies have become intermingled. And many in the church seem to not have a big problem with this. “An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.” (Proverbs 14:5) Stand for truth even when it seems to bring hardship. “Send Your light and Your truth! Let them lead us.” (Psalm 43:3) Blessings.

Then God remembered Noah and every living thing, and all the animals that were with him in the ark. (Genesis 8:1) Did God forget Noah? They were on that ark a long time. I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant and the smell surely got worse by the day. In Exodus 2:24 it says, “God heard the groaning of Israel and remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and God looked upon the children of Israel and acknowledged them.” These are hard sayings. Jewish scholars have spent untold hours discussing this concept of remembering. The word “Zakar” means remembered. It means to recount, or be mindful of. In all this there is testing. I hate it and stink at it. And I am going through it again. God has yet to say, “Well Ed hates this so let’s speed things up.” Most of us have a tendency to overlook Deuteronomy 8:11-20.  Moses talks of the dangers of forgetting that God is the source of all of His blessings in our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the things of our lives and not realize His blessings in our life. We so easily follow things that are either contrary to Him or that are just a pale comparison to His blessings.

Sarah was barren 25 years and then God remembered His promise and she bore a son, Isaac, to Abraham when he was 100 years old. After 14 years Rachel finally gave birth to Joseph. According to the Midrash, Hannah was barren 19 years when God remembered her and she gave birth to Samuel. The Rabbis cite Proverbs 27:21 which states, “For silver–the crucible, for gold–the furnace. And a man is tested by his praise.” In the midst of these trials of waiting there is silver and gold being produced that cannot be of the same value when the time is shortened or rushed. There can be a special wine that comes from this extended process. Some of the best wine comes when even water is withheld.

David was so open as to his feelings when God seemed to abandon him. In Psalm 13 he says, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” Can you imagine how Joseph felt during his captivity and trials? Psalm 105 says of Joseph, he was sold as a slave. They hurt his feet with shackles, his neck was put in iron, until the time that his word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him. David’s prophetic writing in Psalm 22 were words also spoken of by Jesus on the cross. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” Jesus identified with all our trials. Yet we can still feel isolated and disconsolate no matter how many examples of seemingly being forgotten we can find in scripture. Elijah provides an excellent and fitting example in 1 Kings 19. He has just defeated the prophets of Baal and proved to be a mighty prophet of the Lord, yet evil was allowed to attack him through Jezebel and cause Elijah to flee. Elijah was tired. Afraid for his life. He prayed that he would die. Yet the Lord sent an angel to provide sustenance and give him direction. Elijah got into self-pity. He felt he was the only one left fighting this battle against evil, yet the Lord told him He had reserved 7000 who had not bowed their knee to Baal that serve the Lord. The Lord then showed great signs to Elijah in the form of a mighty wind, earthquake and fire. And after the fire, a still small voice. We so easily allow that voice to get drowned out when we listen only to the sounds that accompanies our trials.

We see fatigue and abandonment displayed by Paul with all his trials when he writes in 2 Timothy 4 of being abandoned by Demas and harmed by Alexander the coppersmith. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul gives a list of all the suffering he has gone through to defend his call of apostle when treated poorly by the Corinthian congregation. The apostle Peter, who had denied Christ, said in 1 Peter 4:13 to “rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may be glad with exceeding joy.” It’s quite difficult to walk in a way that He is always before our eyes. In hardship, suffering, or deafening silence that may seem never ending. We have been taught a gospel that so often speaks to reward and riches. Just call on Him and he’ll be there. Like a Four Tops song or rubbing a magic lamp. But can we, like in the Matt Redman song, bless Him in the sufferings? It’s hard. After going through so many health issues and doing my best to persevere, I was told 7 years ago that I needed a second by-pass surgery. No matter what I did to keep myself fit in body, mind and spirit I was at this place I hated again. I prayed He would take me. I felt done. He didn’t. Since then I’ve tried to concentrate on the writing I was supposed to be doing and had not, but now I am.  There is a place when you’ve come and gone through many battles, and you just remain quiet. This is a place where you hear differently. It’s as if you lean on your staff overlooking what may still lie ahead and wonder if you’ll see it. For the discerning person, there is a measured countenance with those before and after trials. Yet I still say the words in my time and prayer with the Lord, “remember me.” We assess by our finite mind. Our God forgets nothing and knows the beginning from the end of all things. The measure of our days. I speak to myself and to all of us, “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say on the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14) Blessings.

I’ve been meditating on Isaiah 53:7. “He was oppressed and He was afflicted. Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth.” Jesus was the substitutionary sacrifice for our sins. Jesus took our sins upon Himself and was wounded for our transgressions, and bruised for our iniquities. This prophecy from Isaiah was written more than 700 years before it happened. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. No other would suffice. 1 Peter 1 states that we would not be redeemed from our empty way of life handed down by our forefathers, but only by the precious blood of the lamb. And Jesus was chosen to be the substitute for our sins “before the foundations of the world.” Before this world was, God saw there was but one way we could be redeemed…the horrible sacrifice of His only son. For God so loved the world. And yet we still don’t fully understand.

I’ve been quite bothered lately by examples being used of how certain peoples’ ordeals mirror that of what Jesus went through. Imagine Jesus’ answer to Judas when he asks the Lord to sign a few Torahs as they could probably get a couple denarius for each one. Probably He’d reiterate what He said in Matthew 6:24, “You cannot serve God and money.” Even Billy Graham said he wouldn’t sign people’s bibles when asked because he was not the author. Or maybe the Lord would overturn a few tables the money changers had set up in the temple and say, “My house shall be called a house of prayer but you have made it a den of thieves.”(Matthew 21:13) Rather than telling people to go after those He felt harmed Him, Jesus might have said hit them, make fun of them. Here are the names of even their families so you can threaten them. But in Luke 22, when they came to arrest Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane and Peter cuts off the ear of Malchus, Jesus heals his ear. On the cross Jesus asks His Father to forgive those who crucified Him. So, what are we missing here? Donald Trump has compared what he is going through to that which Christ went through. He stated that he’s going through his terrible trials the very week Jesus went through His. As if they and he are similar to our Savior. If Jesus had yelled out the names of those responsible for His scourging and crucifixion, all of mankind would have been named. We all must take an accounting of where we are with Him. Follow God or man.

Jesus said in Matthew 5 that we are to be the salt of the earth. Too many have lost this flavor. We are to be the light of the world that shines before men and glorifies our Father in heaven. We are falling short by our actions and our inaction. Saying nothing in the face of that which is contrary to His commands is being complicit. We must realize that He has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness. So why would we follow after wrong teaching that will only lead us astray? Why endure teachings that insult the spirit of grace? It is written that it is a fearful thing to fall into the hand of the living God. (Hebrews 10) But at some point, we may just see a re-enactment of Acts 13 where the people listened to King Herod and shouted, “The voice of a god and not of a man.” And immediately an angel of the Lord struck him and he was eaten by worms and died because he took the glory that was the Lord’s.

I pray we do our best to put things in proper perspective. Jesus gave His life for us. No one can relate to what the Lord did for us. No one! Read and ask what it means to be crucified with Christ. Hope you never hear who has bewitched you or worse…depart from me. Embrace Him. Love one another. He who does not walks in darkness. Meditate on what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1 “Imitate me as I also imitate Christ.” It’s a good start. He is risen! Be blessed.