Author: Ed Craddock

David asked the Lord in Psalm 19 to “Keep back your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me, then I shall be blameless and I shall be innocent of great transgression.” What if Christian ministers, prophets, and teachers said that today? What if David’s son, Absalom, had prayed the same prayer as his father? But he didn’t, and a tragic story unfolds in 2 Samuel chapters 13-18.

Absalom was filled with pride and self-promotion. He was high minded and filled with rebellion. He had characteristics that would be seen as narcissistic and manipulative. He had a callous disregard for the resulting chaos, pain and even death that resulted from his actions. He was vengeful, a liar, and deceitful. The Lord says in Proverbs 8:13 that “He hates pride and arrogance. He calls it evil.” In Proverbs 16:5, the Lord also says “Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; Though they join forces none will go unpunished.” That should cause so many to be more circumspect in their conduct.

Absalom incited rebellion and tore the kingdom of Israel apart. He went to war with his father, King David. He used lies and deceit to gain power. He had a critical spirit. He could judge and malign others, yet not see the plank in his own eye. Absalom viewed openness and Godly character as weakness to be exploited. So, he used deceptive means to undermine trust in him and plan insurrection. He was able to gather people to himself with false promises and flattery. In 2 Samuel 15:4-6, Absalom told people of the land that if he was judge over them, he would always give them justice. He would put out his hand to whomever came to him and he would embrace and kiss them. He stole the hearts of the men of Israel. They fell for these delusions of grandeur just like people do today.

Yet in the midst of this betrayal and intrigue displayed by Absalom, we see examples of both good and bad character displayed by men of Israel. We see a man like Hushai the Archite who put himself in a position of danger by going into the enemies’ camp to confuse the counsel of evil. He was faithful to King David. We see loyalty displayed from a man like Ittai who, though new to allegiance to King David, pledges fealty to him. Much like new Christians today who display greater belief in God’s ways than many longtime Christians who have fallen away. And we see a man like Ahithophel, a longtime counselor of King David, who chose to fall away and follow a lie. Ahithophel’s betrayal of King David led him to eventually realize his folly and kill himself. He died a traitor’s death much like Judas Iscariot. Sadly, I see Ahithophel as representative of so many Christian leaders described by the Apostle Paul in 2 Thessalonians, where he speaks to those who have fallen away from the truth. They have become enamored by lying signs and wonders from the works of Satan. And they have become subject to strong delusion sent by the Lord Himself because they did not believe the truth, but followed after lies and unrighteousness.  Jeremiah 9 speaks to those who are of a lying spirit and commit iniquity. In verse 6 it says, “Your dwelling place is in the midst of deceit; Through deceit they refuse to know Me, says the Lord.”

People speak of an Absalom spirit. I don’t know if that is 100% correct as this spirit has been around since the time of Cain which pre-dated Absalom. But the same spirit that dwelled in the unrighteousness exhibited in Absalom is still alive and well today. From local churches to the highest levels of government, it is evident and breathing new lies, deception, chaos, rebellion and even death in our country and this world. This desire to gain that which is not authorized or ordained by God is witchcraft. Using any power to get what one wants, no matter how evil or destructive, is accepted and condoned. People rally around that, which at one time, would have been called out for its wickedness. Now, it’s business as usual and whatever is necessary to bring about a desired result. I am amazed at how many follow Christian leaders that operate in this spirit. I know so many who were once worthy of taking time to read what they wrote or go listen to them in person. Now, I’m saddened by the transformation I see in them. They follow that which has no part in what Christ taught. They prophesy from a lying spirit and lose no sleep after speaking false words or for doing their best to extort vast amounts of money from gullible followers. On a smaller level, we see that spirit cause church splits. People have no shame in falsely gaining alliances by false flattery, gossip and operating behind the scenes to gain leverage. They feed on the immaturity of those they seek to mislead and gather people around them by unscrupulous means and un-Godly ways. I’ve been part of church splits and have prophesied to church leaders that if certain things were not corrected, there would be a split, or in another case, just come to an end. But at no point did I ever go behind a leader’s back and speak ill of them. That’s gossip and divisive words that end in destruction. People like that are full of cursing and deceit and under their tongue is trouble and iniquity. (Psalm 10:7)

We must realize the source of all this that comes to rob, kill and destroy, and instead embrace that which is Christ, which brings abundant life. There is a price to pay for the deceit, lying and rebellion exhibited by Absalom and so many today. No matter what height you may attain using illicit means, the Lord says in Obadiah 1, “That though you ascend as high as an eagle, or nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down.” What a sobering thought. The Lord searches our hearts and tests our minds and will give to everyone according to their ways. We must take every thought that is contrary to God’s ways and cast it down. Demolish it. And remove our fascination with deceptive words and teachings from our minds just as we would a cancer from our body. Every stronghold of man, every high and lofty thing lifted up in our rebellious defiance, will be brought low. Loftiness and haughtiness of man, and every idol worshipped and followed, will come to an end. Our meager plans and even governments and kingdoms will be brought low. Now is the time to seek His face as never before. It is as Malachi said, that our errors and words have wearied God in that we think these evil ways are acceptable in His sight. They are not. Yet we continue to go on as if judgement will not touch us. You see, there are those who walk as Absalom did, who continue in their sin and yet pray to God as if all was in right order. They act as if speaking words of scripture will cover their sins. But God says their prayers are an abomination to Him. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. We need to examine our own works and see if we are walking in the way of Christ. Embrace Him. Hold fast to that which is good and abstain from every form of evil. Be kind and of the same mind toward one another. Overcome evil with good. Examine yourselves to see if you are in the faith. Humble yourselves before Him. I pray the peace of God guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Blessings.

Webster’s defines presumption as assuming something to be true. Taking for granted some piece of evidence not fully established. Based on inference, which is the process of arriving at a conclusion not logically derived from the assumed premise, yet possesses some degree of probability to the premise. Often the conclusion we arrive at is wrong. In the Old Testament, presumption is not just presuming something as we see it, but it is often sin against God. Outright rebellion.

The worst part of the sin of rebellion is that you often feel you’re going forth in God’s word and power, when in actuality the whole premise is off, as you have not truly sought Him for direction. You go forth as if you have directions from the God you know, yet you’ve not sought His face or come to a place where you have attempted to empty yourself first that He would fill you. You’re filled with your own idea of this God you’ve read about or at one time followed, but have lost your way and still seek to lead.

A perfect example of going forth in what you presume to be right, but in actuality follows none of God’s innumerable laws, is David going to reclaim the Ark of the Covenant in 2 Samuel 6. He was to bring the ark to the City of David, but there were specific rules. His assumption led to the death of Uzzah who touched the ark which could only be moved by the Kohathites using poles to carry the ark on their shoulders. But David, though fearful, finally sought the proper way to transport the ark.

Balaam is one who presumed to speak for God in Numbers chapters 22-24. Balak, a Moabite, hired Balaam to curse Israel, believing this would rid the land of Israel. God spoke to Balaam and told him he could not curse Israel for they are blessed. Balaam should have left right away, but his vanity was easily manipulated by Balak and by the lure of money he knew he shouldn’t take to curse Israel. So, he followed the princes of Moab sent by Balak, and God’s anger was aroused against Balaam. Were it not for Balaam’s donkey stopping and then speaking to Balaam in his own language, the Angel of the Lord would have killed Balaam. The Angel of the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes to see him and he told him were it not for the donkey recognizing God’s authority and stopping, he would have killed Balaam and allowed the donkey to live. Balaam eventually gave a prophetic word favorable to Israel that he saw in an open-eyed vision. He should have stopped there and repented for not walking away right from the start. His sorcery and lust for money eventually brought him into league with other enemies of Israel. In Numbers 31:8, we see Balaam died for presuming he could maintain his sinful ways without reprisal. I feel Balaam was called as a prophet, but the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life were too alluring to him. Spiritual insight, based on seeking God’s face, was myopic at best, and vision was clouded by self.

One of the hardest lessons seen as punishment for the sin of presumption occurs in Numbers 20 with Moses. He has been given a task in bringing Israel out of Egypt and into the promised land that seems impossible, but for God. Mighty miracles and the presence of God in a cloud by day and fire by night constantly before you. Yet Israel complains constantly. Moses is always standing before the living and the dead. Always interceding for the tribes of Israel and constantly being faulted for the trials they had to encounter. In Numbers 20, Moses appears fed up. The people again complain for lack of water and the Lord tells Moses to take his rod, and with Aaron, gather the people of Israel together. God tells Moses to speak to the rock before their eyes and it will yield water for them. Moses speaks to Israel in anger and says “Hear now you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” Moses then struck the rock. He presumed he was following the command of the Lord but did so in his own strength and in anger. Earlier in Exodus 17, he was told to strike the rock to bring forth water. But here it was different. His assuming that his anger would not be seen as usurping authority from God, and acting as if his strength from an angered state would be overlooked, was a sin of assumption. This represented more than just obedience to the act of producing water for Israel, but to what God would do in always supplying their needs. This rock represented redemption. Christ. Yet Moses assumed his actions would be without consequences. They were not. Moses was not allowed to enter the promised land. God allowed Moses to view the promised land from Mt. Nebo where he was buried by God. At his death, his eyes were not dim nor his natural vigor diminished.

This penalty for the sin of presumption – rebellion, by Moses, should cause anyone to take stock of their walk. I find this one of the saddest stories in the Old Testament. Yet even in this, all God’s judgements are true and righteous. Every word of God is true – He is a shield to those who trust in Him. I find that too many have an unrealistic grasp on the judgements of God. Yes, we are under grace, but the laws of the Lord are too often taken for granted. So many presume to speak for the Lord, not fully dissecting their own motives, and believing that His favor will somehow override the penalty for our disobedience. The gospels and the apostles speak of the penalties for disobedience. People that presume to speak for God and lead by their own compass must read what Peter said in 2 Peter 2. Corrupt people leading others on a wrong path. They have forsaken the right path and followed the way of Balaam who loved the wages of unrighteousness. People like these are like wells without water, clouds carried by a tempest, for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever. This is new testament. If we listened before we spoke, if we weighed our intentions against what His word says, we could avoid so much trouble. For ourselves, and those we might lead astray. As I have spoken before, if someone speaks a doctrine that does not line up with Christ, reject it. We are responsible for knowing what is acceptable in His eyes. We all sin and fall short of His glory, but it is up to each one of us to be in right standing with Him. Come before Him and repent. Learn of Him. Seek Him in all things. And be like David who said in Psalm 19: 12-13, “Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression.” Trust in Him and He will direct your path.  Blessings.

We, as a people from the beginning of time, seem to feel that what we presume to be right will be received by God as worthy as the intention was honorable. Adam and Eve had access to the Garden of Eden and all that was in it except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They took for granted the law God had set before them. And they paid the price of their disobedience. The children of Israel saw the miraculous powers of God to free them from captivity, yet somehow presumed their allegiance to Him was only when needed. At every time of trouble, God delivered for the Israelites, yet their memories were short and they complained to Moses when tested by even the slightest hardship. They presumed that it would be a short walk out of Egypt into the promised land. This thinking led to a most circuitous journey, eventually into a judgement of never entering the promised land.

In Numbers 16, we see Korah, a Levite, questioning the authority of Moses, and thereby questioning the authority of God. Korah had just recently witnessed the judgement of the Lord for Israel rebelling by crying and saying they had remained in Egypt, rather than face giants in the promised land and die there. They heard the judgement that “All the earth will be filled with God’s glory” (Numbers 14:21), but those of unbelief will not see it nor enter into the promised land. Korah saw the 10 spies, who went with Joshua and Caleb to spy out the land, die by plague for their unbelief and causing others to fear. He saw what happened to the Israelites who “presumed” they could win over the Lord and cause Him to change His mind by going up to fight the Canaanites and Amalekites and somehow erase their rebellion and unbelief. The Israelites who went to fight were driven back and were defeated, as the Lord was not with them. Their “sin of presumption” proved to be their undoing. Yet Korah and those who followed him still stood against Moses and Aaron. Korah knew the penalty for intentional sins. He and his followers, and all their families, and all their goods, were swallowed up by the earth opened by the Lord. Korah, and the Levites who followed him, had their censers (bronze vessels to carry incense) which were saved and made into hammered plates to be used as a covering for the altar. The censers were holy. They represent the office of the Levite. Korah and the Levites, who presumed an authority that was not theirs, were out of order. These censers were now before the eyes of all Israel, yet the very next day the congregation gathered against Moses and Aaron for killing Korah and his followers. The Lord told Moses to step away, as He would consume them. Moses told Aaron to take a censer and put fire from the altar and incense in it and take it before the congregation and make atonement for them, for “wrath has gone out from the Lord and the plague has begun.” (Numbers 16:46) Moses and Aaron ran into the midst of the assembly of people that the plague was touching and stood in the midst of them praying for them. They stood between the dead and the living, and the plague stopped. In addition to those of Korah and his followers who the earth swallowed up, 14,700 died from the plague.

These are tough verses and stories to comprehend at times. Can God’s wrath be so severe as to cause one to step back in horror? Is this the same God who David refers to in Psalm 27 saying, “When You said Seek My face, My heart said to You, Your face, Lord, I will seek.” Or is this the God who said in Exodus 33 that no man shall see My face and live. No animal or person could touch God’s holy mountain in Exodus, yet Joshua always remained and you just felt he leaned against it in his quest to be close to God. All Israel was to have this close relationship with the Lord, yet they feared even the glory that shone on Moses’ face. I have been meditating on these chapters in Numbers for a while now. How many realize we must be standing between those who are in sins of presumption and the judgement of the Lord? I cannot stress how serious this is and how necessary it is for intercessors to be on their face before the Lord. How many, if they saw His face, would be making images of what they saw and worshipping them? It would be contrary to His law. We are at a place where we must embrace both the Lord’s love and grace and His judgements. Romans 11:33 says, “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and His ways past finding out.” The Passion translation says of this verse, “Who could ever explain the wonder of His decisions or search out the mysterious way He carries out His plans?” I have stated before that I pray daily that the Lord cover this land with His truth and His mercy. We, in our obstinate and presumptuous ways, hinder His truth and mercy from covering our land. We follow a God of our own making. The words of Christ are just that….words. The Sermon on the Mount is just a nice story rather than words to live by. We cannot remain this way and not expect to see things coming undone. Too many leaders teach a gospel that will lead you onto a path of destruction. Yet people wonder why it seems the Lord has covered Himself with a cloud that our prayers will not pass through. (Lamentations 3:44) Seek Him for yourself and pray without ceasing. We should daily pray, “Teach me Your way, O Lord; I will walk in Your truth; Unite my heart to fear Your name.” (Psalm 86:11) Do not walk in presumption. Walk in the fear of the Lord. His mercies are new each morning. He is good and a stronghold to them that trust in Him. Blessings.

I’ve always been intrigued with the story of Nadab and Abihu in Leviticus 10. Reading through all the provisions for the Aaronic priesthood to do things in an orderly and holy fashion often seemed laborious, and I, at times, read through these rules not seeing the weight of their significance. Lately, the Lord has me paying greater attention to the holiness of these rules in ministering before Him in the Holy of Holies. I believe the grace of Jesus Christ and the Holiness before him has been taken for granted, and we need to see the parallels between the Old and New Testaments.

Nadab and Abihu are sons of Aaron, the brother of Moses. They were made aware of the importance of their responsibilities as priests before the Lord. So many of these rules were reiterated, so they should have taken notice of how to follow them. In Leviticus 10:1-3, Nadab and Abihu took it upon themselves to offer up to the Lord that which was considered profane. They offered up “strange fire.” They were immediately struck dead by the Lord. The Lord spoke to Moses and said, “Those who come before Me must regard the Lord as holy and before all people the Lord must be glorified.” Normal mourning for Abihu and Nadab was not allowed. Further instructions for entering the tabernacle of meeting were given that “You may distinguish between holy and unholy and between clean and unclean and that you may teach the children of Israel all the statutes which the Lord has spoken to them by the hand of Moses.” (Leviticus 10:10-11)

There is still discussion and disagreement as to what the exact sin of Abihu and Nadab was. It could have even been for getting the material to start a fire from a place not designated as holy. Exodus 30:9 speaks to this. Their actions might not have been unauthorized. They may have been prideful, as they were seen as part of a special priesthood and took lightly the obedience to God’s very specific laws. I spoke with a Rabbi on his interpretation of what happened to Abihu and Nadab and he said there were so many opinions. He likened it to a “midrash” where Jewish scholars get together and discuss the Torah and come up with an opinion. He even suggested it speaks to the capriciousness of God. I reject that statement.

People will say that the severity of these judgments were specific to the Old Testament. But there are significant parallels that can cause one to take special heed to. In Acts 5 of the New Testament, Ananias and his wife, Sapphira, sold their possessions to give to the apostles for the work of the Lord. They could have kept the proceeds. No one forced them to give the money away. But they were duplicitous. They put only a portion of what they said they were giving at the feet of the apostles. They held back a portion and lied in doing so. The apostle Peter said to Ananias, “Why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the price of the land for yourself?” Ananias, hearing those words, breathed his last and fell dead. The same fate befell his wife Sapphira when she was given the chance to speak. Great fear then came upon the camp when they heard of what happened. The Old Testament has many more examples of the Lord meting out harsh judgment.  But the similarities of the holiness and seriousness of God cannot be minimized just because we are under grace and not the law. He is still God. In Acts 13, Herod had the apostle James killed and was trying to do the same with Peter. He later spoke before the people of Tyre and Sidon near Galilee and was receiving adulation from the people saying that his was the voice of a god and not a man. Immediately, an angel of the Lord struck him because Herod did not give glory to the Lord and he was filled with and eaten by worms and died.

All these examples of rejecting God’s law has led to what I see as “strange fire” being offered up by so many who have set up their own kingdoms in the body of Christ and pay no heed to how careful one must be as a teacher or leader of His word. We have been given access into the Holy of Holies by what Jesus did for us. When Jesus died on the cross, the veil that separated us from entering into direct access to our Father was rent in two. When we accept Christ as our savior, the Holy Spirit comes to reside in us. Paul asks in 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? Anyone that defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple are you.” In all this, I am so thankful for the gift that is given to us in 1 John 1:9 which says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.” I might be a charcoal briquette were it not for this grace! Yet so many take His love and grace for granted. Teachings abound that lift up the speaker and not the Lord. Money is a prime motivator. Pride is rampant. Love of His sheep is lacking. These leaders are clouds without water carried about by every wind of doctrine. They offer up great swelling words, but deliver nothing. We are warned by the apostle Paul in Colossians 2:8, “Beware that no one distracts you or intimidates you in their attempt to lead you away from Christ’s fullness by pretending to be full of wisdom when they’re filled with endless arguments of human logic. They operate with humanistic and clouded judgments based on the mindset of the world system, and not the anointed truth of the Anointed One.” (Passion Translation) Wrong doctrine, based on nationalism and a distorted gospel of Christ, is growing. Strange fire is offered up without regard to how it affects the body of Christ. If what you hear doesn’t line up with the teachings of Christ, reject it. For those who have been part of the prophetic and evangelical teachings who have followed idols, especially for the last 5 years, walk from them. For those who have offered strange fire in what they taught, and have not fully repented from ALL their sins, walk from them. Pray for them, but come out from among them and be separate. These are perilous times. We are responsible for knowing right from wrong. Holy fire from strange, profane fire. Judgment comes and is coming. I urge you to read “Seek My Face” by Jonathan Boegl, as he explains so much more. We must be aware that as 1 Peter 4:17 says, “For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of the Lord; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God.” Get before the Lord. Seek Him in all things. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks and praise always. Let the love of God be seen in our hearts. Love your brother, for you cannot love God and hate your brother. Be attentive and cast off all strange fire. I pray the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Blessings.

I’ve not written since Easter of this year. I’ve been listening intently and writing notes. My prayer time has been more intense, while at the same time leaving me with a feeling of despondency. It’s easy to allow the things of the world to have more of an effect on you than they should when you take your eyes off of Him. He did say that we would have to deal with many unpleasant things, but to be of good cheer, as He has overcome the world.

I watched a western awhile back and an Indian man told a sheriff who he befriended that he had lost his shadow. There is a Navajo concept that our shadow is a sacred part of yourself. This sheriff was losing his vision. This caused him to be less self-assured. Indecisive. When the sun was shining on him there was no shadow. This sheriff finally became focused and remembered his call. And before standing his ground, he looked and saw his shadow. I’m not even sure he looked to see before the words of the sage Indian came to mind. He remembered the words and his call and did what was right, even though he might lose his life. Much like Psalm 74:20 in the Passion Translation says, “Remember your promises to us, for darkness covers the land, giving the violent ones a hiding place.” Our bodies block the rays of the sun and a shadow appears. We can position ourselves to direct the light source differently and thereby change the shadow. There are some taking positions to intentionally alter the light source, but in essence are just positioning themselves to be seen as the light when they are so far from the true source. Those looking to direct the source of light for their own benefit need to be avoided. Christ alone is our source.

Sometimes we look at people and they seem to just be a shadow of what they once were. So many prophetic ministers I have followed for years seemed to have taken a wrong turn. And in doing so, they have led many people on a wrong path that is still being followed. They put their hope in an idol or idols and have lost their way. Some are hellbent on maintaining their destructive course regardless of where it leads them or others.  Something within them has yet to be crucified and it will always come up. The closer we say we want to get to Him, the more these flaws will be evident. Many have lost a sense of who they were called to be, as well as their prophetic insight. In Numbers 22, Balaam sought to see from his own high vantage point and receive his reward from Balak for cursing Israel. But when confronted by God, he could only speak blessings. Today, so many have been speaking from their own high places contrary to the words of Christ. They either do not repent or do so only in part. Their idols have taken up residence in their heart. And they continue to speak from the voices they hear from the shadows. They’ve walked away from the light.

In Acts 5, those in need of healing were positioned so that even the shadow of Peter might touch them when he walked by and they would be healed. There is a Jewish saying that a person’s anointing extends as far as their shadow. There may be some validity in that, but I’ve seen someone healed by a phone call from miles away. Or from prayers with no contact, even by voice. What if you’re walking contrary to His ways? What if you believe you’ve heard correctly even though it doesn’t line up with His word? We should then be on our face asking Him, as David did in Psalm 139, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” But some refuse. They hold onto their idols. They have not filled their lamps with new oil. The warning Christ gave in Luke 11 should cause one to seek His face for all we’re worth. “Take heed that the light that is in you is not darkness.” A sobering warning. His word is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of our hearts. And none are hidden from His sight.

I can see my shadow. Yet at times, I feel but a shadow of myself. That’s on me. I’ve read so many times that “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.” I sat in prayer a week ago asking for even one word. He spoke one word ever so softly: “Trust.” And nothing else. I want His sun to shine on me and His Son to be seen in me. My shadow to be visible. My compilation of James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift comes down from above from the Father of lights in whom there is no variation or shifting shadows.” His light shines upon us and the shadow is constant. It does not waver or fade. He is not a man that He would lie. His word and His promise are always Yes and Amen. He will keep you as the apple of His eye and hide you under the shadow of His wings (Psalm 17:8). Cast a giant shadow propelled forth by His spirit in you. Light will flicker and shadows will fade or waver, but that is not from Him. False teachers and prophets will continue. Their shadows will be shifting and will offer no sense of hope. But our hope is in the truth. Only He is the way. Discord, division, hate, lies, false teaching, idol worship, conceit, backbiting, and selfish ambitions will continue, and in some cases, get worse. Do not lose hope. His Sun will shine on you. Your shadow will be visible to speak of Him. Rest in Him. The Passion Translation of Psalm 57:1 says, “Open Your grace fountain for me, for You are my soul’s true shelter. I will hide beneath the shadow of Your embrace, under the wings of Your cherubim, until this terrible trouble is past.” Blessings.

I read about an artist in 1998 who had gained some renown for her artistic depictions of biblical people during the time of Christ and of His disciples. What attracted my attention though was one of Christ on the cross called, “This I Do For You.” The artist’s name was Helen Terry. She came to my house and showed me pictures of many of her paintings and brought a large signed and numbered print of “This I Do For You” and gave it to me. What I found out upon her entering my home was she was on crutches. The metal kind that wrap around the forearm for extra stability. She had polio as a child. She entered my home looking as if she was laboring. My 90 lb. Doberman carefully walked by her side to give support to her and then sat beside her for the next couple of hours. He made sure her hand was on his head all the time she sat there, as if to say, “If you just keep petting me, you’ll feel better.” They made an immediate bond. She was also badly hurt in the only F3 tornado to hit Ft. Pierce, Fl. In all this, she did not complain. Looking at the print of her painting, it was easy to see she had been given a special insight by Him, which she then drew. Billy Graham has a print of her drawing, as does the Vatican. She died in 2013. Her print of “This I Do For You” is the first thing you see when you enter my home. It’s overpowering. The eyes of Jesus in this print convey the message, “You pick up your cross and follow Me.”

The cross Jesus was crucified on was rough, heavy, and filled with splinters. Imagine your body rubbing against it and then having its weight push down on your back and shoulders. Then try to imagine the same thing happening after you have been scourged, so that muscle and tissue are ripped and shredded and visible through flayed flesh along with sinew and bone. Jesus was weakened. Most would have died from the beatings He received and now this heavy instrument of death was placed on Him. So, the soldiers compelled a certain man, Simon of Cyrene, to carry Jesus’ cross the rest of the way. Simon was a visitor from what is now Libya. It was not believed he was a follower of Christ at that time. But He became one after this experience. What went through Simon’s mind as his eyes locked with Jesus? Did he even try to reconcile why this man was so severely beaten so near to the point of death, yet death still awaited Him? He heard Jesus’ groaning and Simon himself groaned at the weight of the cross.  Its rough wood scraped against him and large splinters entered his skin.  Did Simon later realize that the blood of Christ on those splinters now intermingled with his own blood? Simon would become a follower as would his son, Rufus.  I wonder what Simon’s thoughts were when he took communion? How did the words of Christ resonate that said, “Take. Drink. This is my blood shed for you.” I imagine Simon never forgot that. I’m sure he had a special insight. Did he feel like the apostle Paul who said in in Philippians 3:10, “That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.” I feel Simon of Cyrene knew better than most. That image and experience was etched indelibly in his mind. Simon would become a missionary to France and it was said he was a bishop in Avignon. He was martyred in 100 A.D. Crucified.

It is imperative that we do our best to come before Him and ask for special understanding and insight in how to take up our cross. I’ll go into this further at another time but in the meantime, I would recommend looking into teachings on this by Jonathan Boegl. Google him. Know that He has a plan for each of us. It’s in our everyday walk. We take up our cross in our job, our church, our very existence. We make it a conscious act of our will to surrender the right to ourselves to Him. In all we do. Wherever we are. Every day. Every thought. Paul said in Philippians 3:8, “I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.” Sometimes the closest I get to that is just trying to fathom what Paul actually felt. For now, maybe we can embrace what Jesus did for us and delve into the depths of His love. Maybe we can realize that if we take up our cross, certain things might fall away such as anger, pride, unforgiveness, bitterness, inability to share and give, hard heartedness, slander, wicked thoughts, racist thoughts, back biting and inability to show His love to others. Nail all of these terrible things to the cross. Remember that love covers a multitude of sins.

Take up your cross in standing up for others. Do so in love. Pursue peace with all men, but do not give way to evil. Hunger and thirst after righteousness, but remember do not be one who will hear the words, “I was thirsty and you gave me no drink.” Turmoil and thoughts contrary to Christ are so prevalent. Let His word abide in you. Then the love of God will be perfected in you. Do not let the pervasive darkness blind your eyes and cloud your thought. As John said in 1 John 2:28, “Abide in Him, that when He appears, we may have confidence and not be ashamed before Him at His coming.” He died that we would have life and the forgiveness of sins. “This I do for you.” Take up your cross. I pray the love of God guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Blessings.