A couple of decades ago I attended a conference where I thought I’d be helping in prayer and doing prophetic ministry. The first evening I noticed a young but already notable evangelist staring at me. There was something in his eyes that was a pleading, and yet something that seemed to be fearful of me. Every time I saw him during this three-day conference, it was the same thing. I was thoroughly confused as I was getting no answer as to why he was looking at me this way. That first night, this man was called up to receive prayer. I was one of those praying for him. I believe God had me positioned at his feet for blessings on where he would go and where he had been. Romans 10:15 says, “And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who brings glad tidings of good things.” This man was an evangelist in a Muslim nation and had gone through hell. Threats, guns held in his face for long periods of time and always the fear of impending doom. The presence of the Lord was so strong as we prayed for this man that I was immersed in a most intense heat and tears were coming down my face as if by their own volition. It was such a powerful experience. The next couple of days though were more of the same. Every time I saw this man, his eyes were exhibiting both pleading and what I saw as fear.
The last evening session of the second day I was seated during a sermon. Suddenly I started to feel quite uncomfortable. Hot and sick. But most troublesome was this impending doom over me. Like the most pronounced panic attack one could imagine. I had to get out! I was seated in a middle row of the hotel conference room but managed to climb over people and get in the hallway in a flash. I never stopped to see if I had upset anyone in my escape. I’ve had heart attacks before and I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing this again, but this time with extreme fear. In the hotel hallway, I paced wondering what was happening. But then I heard the Lord say to me, “Go back and get your bible.” In my rush to escape this room and doom, I’d left my bible. I said no I would not go back into that room. I felt extremely fearful and was not sure I was not about to die. He said again, “Go back and get your bible.” I managed to go back and retrieve my bible and get out in record time. Those in the room must have thought I was an idiot. I left a message at the front desk for a pastor friend to come to my room after the meeting.
The intensity of what I was going through did not let up. In fact, at times it became worse. I was reading scriptures for all I was worth. I even called my wife to maybe come get me. At this point I was trying to figure out if I was having another heart episode. It was nearing midnight. I finally called my wife but decided that the best heart hospital was nearer to my home, and her driving to get me and bring me back would take over 6 hours. I received prayer from my pastor friend and a couple people I called, but this feeling of panic and doom would still come in waves. I prayed and did what spiritual warfare I could all night. Sleep would not come. Finally, in the morning I showered and went to breakfast. I sat alone. The last teaching session was over by noon and then I saw the young evangelist again. He looked as fearful as I felt. His eyes were still looking at me the same way. And then it was over. He said good-by to me and a few others and left. He said he couldn’t join a few of us for lunch. Something was unfinished and yet I was at such a loss as to what that was. And then during lunch he came back in and approached our table. And that spirit of intense fear came rushing at and over me in a wave. And I said out loud, “It’s you! There is a spirit of dread that has come to disable and kill you. To make you ineffective in what God has called you to do.” He started to answer that it wasn’t, that he just couldn’t go back, as he was worn out and tired. I said, “Be quiet! This goes now.” There were 5 other ministers at the table. All more seasoned than me, but they deferred to me as if by the Spirit. I prayed for this spirit of dread to go and spoke what His call was for this man. How he would go back and the thousands he would introduce to Christ. I stated what we read in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” And we spoke from Psalm 23 and 27 and 91. This dread is such a great fear compounded in the face of impending doom, terror, fright and the promise of death. He was being set free and as it left him, I noticed a lightness over me. The Lord wants us at a place where we can fully understand Isaiah 8:13, “The Lord of Hosts, Him you shall hallow; Let Him be your fear, And let Him be your dread.”
Ephesians 6: 11-12 says, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand the wiles of the devil, For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against rulers of darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” The Lord later spoke to me and another minister confirmed it: He said that He allowed me to encounter the prince over the spiritual principality over Pakistan. If I did not understand this encounter, then how could I minister to the one in need of healing from this? My first reaction was stupidly to say, “What gives you this right!” I realized how stupid it was as soon as the words left my mouth. Sort of like the soldier complaining that they’re using real bullets in basic training. This experience I shared won’t happen to everyone, but I share it to prepare you. We are in perilous times and they are getting darker. We must be ready in season and out, and we cannot be ignorant of Satan’s devices. It doesn’t matter whether you signed up for this or not. We must don the armor Paul shares with us in Ephesians 6. We must be watchful and always remain steadfast and in prayer. And as Peter warns us in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” But He who is everything is with you in times of trouble. He will set you high upon a rock. Stand and pray. Blessings.
Stand My Watch 