Month: May 2024

A few decades ago, I was on trial for what could have proven to be disastrous for how my life would have turned out. We were still in the last vestiges of the Vietnam War and emotions were high against those who looked like they were anti-war. I was not one of them as I had lost a few friends in Vietnam, including my best friend. But I was from a military family and I could never protest against my friends fighting in Vietnam. I was at a college mixer and too many people were indulging in things that altered their behavior. One such person believed my friend Mark was trying to move in on his girlfriend and proceeded to hit Mark across the forehead with a beer bottle leaving a large cut. I was upset about this and my first instinct was to handle this myself. But I thought better of this and decided to report this to the cops on duty. The cops didn’t care and they didn’t seem to care that I was trying to do the right thing. My hair was quite long which exacerbated the situation. So, they started pushing me. I held my ground and tried to explain what had transpired. To no avail. Two cops jumped me and started hitting me. I had learned some boxing techniques from my dad who boxed in the Navy. I had my shoulders and arms up high. I was able to secure my left arm around the second cop so his punches were limited. But the first guy left plenty of lumps on my head. My friend Mark, holding a towel on his head for the bleeding, jumped in as the first cop pulled out a blackjack. Mark said just let us go home as we did nothing wrong. Meanwhile a large crowd had gathered and were yelling all sorts of things, and in the melee, one of the cops lost his gun. Glad I wasn’t shot. I think the crowd size made the cops let us go. I took Mark to the hospital for stitches.

The next day I made a complaint against the two cops. But I was arrested and put in a cell. I was charged with breach of peace, resisting arrest, and assaulting officers on two counts. I was able to post bail and then had to get an attorney for the upcoming trial. He was recommended to me as a good trial attorney but I had to sell all I had, including my car, to pay his fee. I was up before a judge that was known to dislike anyone who had long hair which he considered to be trouble makers. I was advised I should cut my hair as things could go easier for me. I refused. How does the length of my hair have anything to do with innocence? It was a jury trial. It took quite a bit of time to select the 12 jurors. I think the prosecutor knew that the cops involved had a penchant for being overzealous and nasty. I was told that I could plead guilty to breach of peace and they’d drop the other charges. I stated I was innocent of ALL charges and would not give in. The judge then said if I was found guilty, he’d throw the book at me and I could expect a minimum of 5 years. I was ready to go to Canada.

We had quite a few witnesses. One professor that testified for me was painted as a communist and anti-American. The prosecution only had the two cops. My attorney did a good job with them. I testified. They tried to paint me as an anti- war hippie. An activist. They spent a long time cross examining me and when they couldn’t rattle me or catch me contradicting myself, they told the jury that was because I was used to speaking and influencing people. I had never done that and hated public speaking. Thank God for my mom! She was an excellent witness on my behalf. And she introduced herself as Tresa Santilli Craddock. Emphasizing that middle name affected a couple women jurors who were also Italian. She could not be rattled. She had prayed and fully believed God was with her. The jury was out for a long time. Quite a few attorneys would drop by to sit in on this trial as it was getting notice. A Bailiff had told my attorney they could hear the women in the jury room raising their voices. After many hours they came in. I was definitely scared. I was found not guilty on all counts. The judge didn’t look happy. One of the women jurors smiled at my mom upon entering the courtroom. There were many tears that day.

I look back on that time and wonder why I had to go through that. And all it cost me financially. Was this preparation for things I’d do standing for Him later in life? I think of Psalm 31:20 where it says, “You shall hide them in the secret place of Your presence, from the plots of man.” Yet I was not undamaged. I look to Isaiah 26:3 which states, “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in You.” But did I? I was definitely wavering. I couldn’t say as in Hebrews 13:6, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” I did fear what they could do to me. Yet I tried to do my best in trusting Him. The verse I find most appropriate for this is what Jesus said in Matthew 10:19, “But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.” My mom knew that better than I.

And now I look at the multiple political trials in the news. I look at people who looked to overthrow our election like Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis or Kenneth Cheseboro. They spoke many untruthful things but now have pleaded guilty. I see Donald Trump say he’d testify then not do that. If you’re innocent, then make a stand. And if you’re guilty, cop a plea. Paul was stoned for his truth. Peter was beaten. And he tells us in 1 Peter to gird up the loins of our mind. To be morally alert. You cannot do this if you’re living a lie. Trials will come to test us even when we are walking circumspectly. Truth and lies have become intermingled. And many in the church seem to not have a big problem with this. “An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.” (Proverbs 14:5) Stand for truth even when it seems to bring hardship. “Send Your light and Your truth! Let them lead us.” (Psalm 43:3) Blessings.

Then God remembered Noah and every living thing, and all the animals that were with him in the ark. (Genesis 8:1) Did God forget Noah? They were on that ark a long time. I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant and the smell surely got worse by the day. In Exodus 2:24 it says, “God heard the groaning of Israel and remembered His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and God looked upon the children of Israel and acknowledged them.” These are hard sayings. Jewish scholars have spent untold hours discussing this concept of remembering. The word “Zakar” means remembered. It means to recount, or be mindful of. In all this there is testing. I hate it and stink at it. And I am going through it again. God has yet to say, “Well Ed hates this so let’s speed things up.” Most of us have a tendency to overlook Deuteronomy 8:11-20.  Moses talks of the dangers of forgetting that God is the source of all of His blessings in our lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the things of our lives and not realize His blessings in our life. We so easily follow things that are either contrary to Him or that are just a pale comparison to His blessings.

Sarah was barren 25 years and then God remembered His promise and she bore a son, Isaac, to Abraham when he was 100 years old. After 14 years Rachel finally gave birth to Joseph. According to the Midrash, Hannah was barren 19 years when God remembered her and she gave birth to Samuel. The Rabbis cite Proverbs 27:21 which states, “For silver–the crucible, for gold–the furnace. And a man is tested by his praise.” In the midst of these trials of waiting there is silver and gold being produced that cannot be of the same value when the time is shortened or rushed. There can be a special wine that comes from this extended process. Some of the best wine comes when even water is withheld.

David was so open as to his feelings when God seemed to abandon him. In Psalm 13 he says, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” Can you imagine how Joseph felt during his captivity and trials? Psalm 105 says of Joseph, he was sold as a slave. They hurt his feet with shackles, his neck was put in iron, until the time that his word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him. David’s prophetic writing in Psalm 22 were words also spoken of by Jesus on the cross. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” Jesus identified with all our trials. Yet we can still feel isolated and disconsolate no matter how many examples of seemingly being forgotten we can find in scripture. Elijah provides an excellent and fitting example in 1 Kings 19. He has just defeated the prophets of Baal and proved to be a mighty prophet of the Lord, yet evil was allowed to attack him through Jezebel and cause Elijah to flee. Elijah was tired. Afraid for his life. He prayed that he would die. Yet the Lord sent an angel to provide sustenance and give him direction. Elijah got into self-pity. He felt he was the only one left fighting this battle against evil, yet the Lord told him He had reserved 7000 who had not bowed their knee to Baal that serve the Lord. The Lord then showed great signs to Elijah in the form of a mighty wind, earthquake and fire. And after the fire, a still small voice. We so easily allow that voice to get drowned out when we listen only to the sounds that accompanies our trials.

We see fatigue and abandonment displayed by Paul with all his trials when he writes in 2 Timothy 4 of being abandoned by Demas and harmed by Alexander the coppersmith. In 2 Corinthians 11, Paul gives a list of all the suffering he has gone through to defend his call of apostle when treated poorly by the Corinthian congregation. The apostle Peter, who had denied Christ, said in 1 Peter 4:13 to “rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may be glad with exceeding joy.” It’s quite difficult to walk in a way that He is always before our eyes. In hardship, suffering, or deafening silence that may seem never ending. We have been taught a gospel that so often speaks to reward and riches. Just call on Him and he’ll be there. Like a Four Tops song or rubbing a magic lamp. But can we, like in the Matt Redman song, bless Him in the sufferings? It’s hard. After going through so many health issues and doing my best to persevere, I was told 7 years ago that I needed a second by-pass surgery. No matter what I did to keep myself fit in body, mind and spirit I was at this place I hated again. I prayed He would take me. I felt done. He didn’t. Since then I’ve tried to concentrate on the writing I was supposed to be doing and had not, but now I am.  There is a place when you’ve come and gone through many battles, and you just remain quiet. This is a place where you hear differently. It’s as if you lean on your staff overlooking what may still lie ahead and wonder if you’ll see it. For the discerning person, there is a measured countenance with those before and after trials. Yet I still say the words in my time and prayer with the Lord, “remember me.” We assess by our finite mind. Our God forgets nothing and knows the beginning from the end of all things. The measure of our days. I speak to myself and to all of us, “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say on the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14) Blessings.